The Pranks Of Old Wizards
by TakisAngel
Summary: The king's old adviser, Ivan Braginsky, is enjoying his retirement and settling back into his home far away from King Ludwig's court. Then, his pink tea cups start to shake. Oneshot, Magic Kingdom AU


It all started with the tea cups. Ivan was sitting around his house, enjoying his newfound retirement from the position of King's wizard, when his teacups started shaking. Then all at once they bolted out of their cabinet and began flying all over the place, scaring his poor dragon out of his wits and making him run all over the room to escape the evil flying tea cups. Ivan tried to calm him down when suddenly they stopped moving and slammed onto the floor.

The tea cups sat there innocently, not moving and seemingly back to normal as the old wizard finally calmed down his dragon and repaired the damage it caused. Sighing as everything was put back into its proper place, he walked over to where his teacups were in search of answers and possibly to unleash his scathing rage on the tableware. He knelt down and picked up one of the tiny pink things, and his eyes widened as he caught a whiff of another wizard's magic, specifically one he knew very well.

"Alfred." He narrowed his eyes and squeezed the little teacup as he struggled to contain the sudden loathing he had for his old rival. "It only makes sense that he would do this. No one with this kind of magic would use it this immaturely and he is the only one who knows where my pink teacups are," he concluded while heading over to his Wizardry Room. He scanned his books, trying to find the perfect spell to use for retaliation. He gave a huge grin as he found the one he was looking for.

Across the kingdom, Alfred the Powerful was still chuckling at the prank he pulled on that stupid Ice Wizard while cleaning his wand collection. Really, it was for the better, after all he would have bet his gold glasses that Ivan was super bored anyway, with the retirement and all, plus it was super funny. He snickered and resolved to look in his Scrying Ball to see the look on the guy's face later. He want back to cleaning when suddenly his prized lamp started shaking.

Eyes wide, he leaped over to grab it when suddenly it bolted up from its stand and started flying around the room, joining other furniture which had started doing the same. The retired warlock gaped as his furniture did a somersault and started to form words before his very eyes. Finally, the furniture seemed to form the word they were trying to make. Alfred's eyes narrowed as the furniture glowed a FUCK YOU, and then plopped back into their original position

In the Ice Realm, Ivan was happily whistling and putting all his books back into place, satisfied that justice had been served and that he got his revenge. Humming a popular siren tune, he dusted himself off and started to head back to his kitchen, when a book chucked itself onto the back of his head.

"CYKA BLYAT!" Ivan continued to curse as he turned toward the offending book, when he noticed his books arranging themselves into words. When they finally stopped moving, the words BRING IT ON ASSHOLE stared back at him.

And honestly, there was no going back from there. The two continued to mercilessly magic their respective houses, turning food into frogs, teleporting Ivan's crazy sister to his house, switching all the the chocolate in Alfred's house with dog shit, making Ivan's house walk around on two legs for miles, and on and on. The pranks got more and more silly and elaborate, such as making all the Dwarves pop into Alfred's house for two days at random, or Ivan's dragon turning into a unicorn.

The situation got so out of hand that eventually the King had to step in, particularly after a prank that made all the Ding Flowers in the kingdom plop onto Alfred's house, which made all the villagers surrounding the building to sneeze nonstop for hours. The King ordered his old wizard and warlock advisors to his throne room, and the two grudgingly obeyed. The King sat there listening them to argue (honestly those two got along as well as a enchanted dog and a unicorn), before he had enough.

"BE QUIET YOU STUPID MAGICIANS!" he exploded before slamming the two down to the floor with his own magic. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT CHAOS YOU CAUSE AROUND MY KINGDOM?!" Ivan and Alfred gave each other a guilty look. Alfred was the first one to speak.

"Well, you see," he started calmly before giving up and pointing accusingly at Ivan. "It was all HIS fault!"

"MY fault?! If anything this is your fault for enchanting my dragon to do the Hula!"

"I only did that because you made New York into a couch!"

"Well maybe if you didn't make all my silverware teleport to the Dasa Desert I wouldn't have DONE THAT!" They continued to bicker as King Ludwig sighed and sat down in his throne.

"Look you two," Ludwig said, drawing the attention of the bickering old men. "Can't you just call it even? No more pranks, no more revenge, and no more Ding Flowers." The two nodded begrudgingly, muttering about how unfair this was, but peace was made. The King sighed in relief as the pair left his castle, hoping that this would finally be the end of this prank nonsense.

Epilogue: Ivan was drinking his new BLUE tea cup, looking through his old books and spells when his couch on the other side of the room jolted. Eyes narrowed, he watched as it did a somersault and land on its side, right next to his brick shitting dragon. Across the kingdom, King Ludwig groaned as the cycle began all over again.


End file.
